"The enormous difference between the
relationships you need, and the one you deeply want. The need is created
out of an accumulation of negativities, planted by traumatic
experiences: fear, doubts, anxiety, dependence, weakness in certain
realms, inadequacy, incompleteness. A certain relationship can remove
the fear, calm anxiety, supply a certain completion, replace a loss,
fulfill an organic insufficiency, lull an insecurity, supply a
substitute love. But it may not be the love one would want if free of
all these negativities."
- Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 3: 1939-1944
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