ponder

Not to ‘believe’ in God. Not to know anything of God. And to love in him only his absence so that this love, being a renouncing of God himself, may be a love that is absolutely pure and ‘the emptiness that is plenitude.’ But we must not know even this, or we risk consenting to emptiness only in the hope of being filled with it.

— Maurice Blanchot, The Infinite Conversation