literacki

The presumed pleasure of the other person is at my expense—will I go along with this, or won’t I? Traditionally this question is seen to apply within the interpersonal relationship, but it should primarily be understood internally.
The jouissance of the drive, that other dimension at work in me, takes place at the expense of me as a subject—will I go along with this or won’t I? The answer to this internal question will determine the answer to the external relationship.
The first reaction is predictable: defence.

Paul Verhaeghe, Love In A Time Of Loneliness, p. 169